


It's Been A Long Long Time

by peggyismywife



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-08 02:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15233097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peggyismywife/pseuds/peggyismywife
Summary: Bucky and Steve’s childhood friend (reader) goes MIA during the war. But a surprisingly linked lifeline results in a shocking surprise.Fate has kept them together, but is there a reason?





	1. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flash of memory from Bucky’s past resurfaces, prompting Steve and Sam to investigate.

The door to the frozen base groaned as the metal was forced open. Two figures slunk into the darkness. 

Small lines of light came through cracks in the foundation, barely cutting through the blackness that filled the rooms. They scoped the first floor, nothing. Regrouping, they looked around, one of the figures brushed his hand over a table, sending a thick wave of dust into the air. 

“I don’t think anyone’s been here in a long time, Steve.” 

Steve dropped his shoulders, 

“Yeah,” He reached up and removed his helmet. “but we have to keep looking.”

_{One week earlier}_

 

Bucky looked out the window over the twisting jungle of Wakanda. Here he was again, preparing to be frozen, to have his life put on hold yet again. But this time it would be different, this time there would be a better outcome. He turned as Steve appeared beside him, 

Steve gave a weak grin, “When this is all over we’ll go get donuts and cider, whaddaya say?” 

Bucky’s lips tugged sadly at the reference from a long ago time. He turned and looked at Steve. He was so different he almost couldn’t recognize him, but those eyes and the memories they’d seen would always be the same. Bucky could get lost in Steve’s eyes. 

But suddenly something in him stirred under the piercing blue of Steve’s gaze. 

Bucky shook as a wave ripped through him, a memory too fast to decipher, something in Steve’s eyes had resurfaced something long forgotten. He stumbled back, reaching out for Steve to stable himself. 

Concern flashed through Steve’s gaze, his brows furrowed in silent questioning.  
Bucky blinked, there was something itching at his brain, a remnant of the memory flash. Something was in his head, scratching its way out. 

He grabbed his head, “I need a pen.“ he gasped. 

"A pen and paper. Now.” 

Steve grabbed one from a nearby table, Bucky snatched it from his grasp and began frantically writing. He felt fevered, he couldn’t breath until it was out. His hand slashed over the paper, the thought spreading from his mind to the pen. 

He stepped back.

Steve picked up the piece of paper, an increased look of confusion settled on his features. 

“These are coordinates.” He read it again. “To what?”

Bucky had no answer, it was a memory from a different life, something purposely engraved into the folds of his mind, it must be important.

A nurse tapped him on the shoulder,  
“We’re ready to begin.”  
_____

They had followed the coordinates here, 64°58'49.0"N 95°25'24.8"E, the middle of Russia.

Now after 3 floors deeper into the earth, the base was feeling more and more like a dead end. Sam and Steve had split up to cover more ground. Steve walked through endless musty rooms filled with useless papers and overturned furniture. Each had a chilling HYDRA symbol carved into the wall, Steve glared. 

Sam’s voice cut the stillness, “Hey! Over here!”

Steve followed Sam’s voice and came out into a larger room than the others. Sam gestured to the corner. 

A small orange glow emanated from a strange machine, the hum of a motor warned that the machine was still in use. Somehow there was still power going to whatever it was, and in an abandoned base, that means one thing:  
_Whatever this is, it’s important. Whatever it is, it’s so important that it was written into Bucky’s brain. Whatever it is, It was not meant to be forgotten._

Steve stepped close to the machine, inspecting it for any immediate threat of danger. He noticed a dip in the metal that signaled the placement of a window. He lifted his hand and brushed away layers of dust, a pit forming in his stomach with every swipe of his hand. The window was clear.

  
His heart stopped.

 

Bile fled up his throat as he choked back a sob,  _no no no, this isn’t real._

His mind wiped, and he stared blankly into the window of the machine.

Before him was the last face he ever expected to see, the one face he never expected to see again, the one face that sent his world crumbling back down around him; all suspended in a frozen sleep.

.


	2. Flashback: In The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to the 30′s and 40′s. Where it all began.

_(y/n) was born in a small farmhouse in 1920. She grew up in the farmlands of northern Connecticut, where the outdoors claimed her as their child, and she spent hours in the woods. But as the Great Depression hit, her family moved to New York City looking for work, eventually settling in Brooklyn. It wasn’t the nicest place but it was home. (y/n) started going to school, where she failed to make any real friends, and instead took to reading and perfecting her school work. In time she reached the top of her class._  
~~  
 ** _1933_**

**_  
_**After a long grueling day at school, (y/n) walked the streets of Brooklyn back home. She had quickly mapped the quickest route and it became her routine, never faltering from the usual way. But this one day was different, something must’ve been written deep in the fabric of time, for that day she decided to alter her course.

  
She walked past tall brick buildings that seemed to be alive themselves due to the working noises within. She stepped past an old lady watering her small window-garden, and past the deli that wafted smells of bread and meat. But as she relished the change of scenery, she turned the corner and heard a loud commotion. 

(y/n)’s instincts flew from her mind as she turned into the alleyway to see a very small boy fighting off 5 boys significantly larger than him. Though, despite his valiant efforts, it wasn’t so much a fight as he was sorely losing. 

  
She was always taught to run at the sign of a fight, but she couldn’t leave or the boy would surely be killed. She sprang into action. Even though (y/n) was barely larger than the boy, two was always better than one. With the help of bricks, (y/n)’s school books, and the boy’s frightening perseverance, they managed to get the bullies away. 

  
(y/n) stumbled over and sat on the floor; panting and rubbing her very bruised knuckles. 

“I’m (y/n) by the way.”

The boy wheezed on the ground, vaguely gesturing to himself, 

“Steve.” He coughed. “You fight like a bitch.” 

He suddenly looked shocked at his own language, 

“Sorry! I don’t mean to swear in front of a dame.”

  
(y/n) chuckled, “You fight like a bitch too.”

  
Just then a taller dark-haired boy ran into the alley, his eyes opened wide in shock as he saw the two of them sitting there,  

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

  
_**{7 years later}** _

“No no no no no no no!” (y/n) squealed, but it was too late, she was falling.

  
Steve gripped her arm and screamed with her, turning a deep shade of green. They had taken a trip to Coney island, and by Bucky’s horrible request, had mounted the Cyclone and were speeding about the roller coaster.

“I swear to god Rogers if you throw up on me!” (y/n) screamed.

Bucky cackled, he was loving it.

  
The ride stopped and they stumbled off. Steve pushed past (y/n) and sprinted towards a garbage can. Bucky laughed and patted Steve’s back as he returned, earning a frustrated grunt.

(y/n) smiled at them, “I’m gonna miss this.”

Steve looked miffed. “What? Me puking out my insides?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes. 

“No, in all seriousness, I really love you guys.” She hooked her arms through theirs as they walked down the boardwalk. 

“I’m gonna miss you guys so much.” 

  
They walked farther in silence, passing by the brightly lit booths and chattering people, “But why do you have to go to England?” Steve whined.

“I told you guys already, I can’t tell you.”

  
“…because it’s some government top secret thing.” Bucky finished. 

Steve’s mouth dropped as (y/n)’s eyes went wide, 

“How did you–”

“Don’t look so shocked.” Bucky started. “I saw the envelope on your bed.” 

(y/n) sighed, 

“Then you know why I couldn’t tell anyone.” 

  
She released their arms and turned around. Bucky’s face was frozen in a solemn stillness, Steve’s wide eyes suddenly looked sad and tired. 

“I  _will_  be back.” (y/n) forced a smile, “When this is all over we’ll go get donuts and cider, whaddaya say?” 

  
This brought the smiles back to their faces, “Doll, you gotta stop with the donuts and cider!” Bucky laughed. “You’re gonna be 1000 pounds!”

“What?” (y/n) made a mock-gasp, 

“I thought Bucky Barnes liked a curvy girl.” 

She winked, now it was her turn to laugh. She re-linked their arms and they headed home.

~~

(y/n) followed the old woman up the stairs. 

The apartment was slightly larger than what she was used to, but this was her new home. 

“And this is your room.” The woman opened the door to reveal 2 twin beds in a charming little room. “You will have a roommate but I think you’ll get along nicely.” 

(y/n) nodded and the woman left her to get settled. 

She sighed and set her bags down in the corner before sitting on her bed. 

Looking around, it started to sink in how far from home she was, how far away from them she was. She took a tattered picture out of her pocket: the three of them held ice cream cones in their hands and smiled like there were no cares in the world. (y/n) rubbed her thumb over the picture, staring carefully at Steve’s face, and then Bucky’s. 

  
A small knock on the door brought her attention up. The girl who was presumably (y/n)’s roommate stepped in.

  
“Hi, I’m Peggy Carter.“ She smiled, "Welcome to Bletchley Park.”


	3. Flutter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) wakes up

The first thing she saw was wooden ceilings.

(y/n) had opened her eyes. 

Light overwhelmed her senses, she could feel the sunlight bathe her skin from the open window. A breeze tickled her nose, soft sheets cradled her body. 

All of these things were far from normal, but the most unsettling was the warmth. 

She was  _warm._

She hadn’t felt warm in a lifetime.

_Something is wrong, very very wrong._

 

A slight movement in the corner of her eye triggered her into action. 

She shot up and grabbed the figure sitting next to her, throwing him to the floor with her knee pressing into his throat. He stared up at her in amazement.

  
_Those eyes._

_  
_(y/n) couldn’t forget those eyes in 10,000 lifetimes.

Her throat closed up. Terror prickled up her spine. She gasped for air.

“No,” She choked.  “This is a trick! Get away from me!” 

She sprang away and scanned the room for an exit; the window.  _1st floor thank god_. She threw herself out. 

Unfortunately, so did her pursuer. 

 

(y/n) sprinted across the field, the tall grass cutting her skin as she whipped past. She sped through the countryside. The nearly forgotten aroma of trees and the view of green enveloped her.  _Too much, too much to handle._  Nostalgia infected the very air around her, and her brain worked desperately to not succumb to it’s enticing melody. Everything around her cried out that she was safe. 

_But it’s a trick! It must be a trick. I’m not safe, I can never be safe, not anymore._  

Hot tears clouded her eyes and she tried to clear her vision, but she didn’t see the rock. 

  
She tripped and hit the ground. 

  
She clawed at the earth,  _get up get up_ , but her body seemed to fail her, like in a nightmare; she was stuck to the ground. 

His voice cried out from behind her,

“(y/n)! Please stop!”

She crumbled, sobbing into the warm grass,

“St-steve?”

  
Steve nodded and softly knelt beside her. Silver rivers ran down his face, he started to reach out but pulled back, unsure of her reaction.

(y/n) reached out and held his face in her hands, he leaned into her touch.

  
“How do I know you’re real?” She whispered, a hand now moving to where a bruise was forming on his neck.

Steve smiled through the tears as he watched her inspect the bruise, 

“Because you still fight like a bitch.”

 

(y/n) let out a gasping laugh and wrapped her arms around Steve, burying her face into his shoulder. 

She held him tight; if this was a dream she was  _not_ letting go, not ever.

    
“Stevie,” She murmured, pulling slightly back to look in his eyes: 

so many memories, so much pain. But behind them is the same little punk from the alley so many years ago. She took a deep breath, 

“It’s been a long long time.”


	4. Flashback: The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a casual chapter that kind of details (y/n)’s time at bletchley and some other stuff that you have to read to see fkjdsagh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i moved the dates up a little from when Peggy left Bletchley (in reality she left in 1940 i moved it to 1941)

**ENGLAND- APRIL 1943**

(y/n) gasped herself awake; sitting up quickly in bed.  
She groaned, an aching feeling filled every limb, a side effect of crying herself to sleep. In her hands was clutched the photo, and a letter; one that she received yesterday.  
The paper was damp and crumpled on one side from her grip on the page, she tried to ignore the sick feeling she got as she read the letter again.  
  


> “Hiya doll, I just thought i’d tell you that I got my orders. SGT James Barnes in the 107th. Maybe i’ll be in the neighborhood and stop by! I love you. 
> 
> -Buck”

  
She knew the reason the letter was so short, he was saying goodbye. 

Bucky hates saying goodbye.

Now Steve was alone. 

  
The ring of the alarm clock startled her, she turned as the girl in the neighboring bed woke up. She was nice, but she was no Peggy.

Peggy left Bletchley in October 1941, depriving (y/n) of her only real friend, she had made acquaintances yes, but they had virtually nothing in common.  

The work was intense, of course, thrilling at times, but she was getting tired of all of this. But she delved on with the codes, trying her best in the hopes that she could finish this horrible war. 

Then they could all go home.

 

**NEW JERSEY, USA- MAY 1943**

Peggy furrowed her eyebrows, 

“Wait, what did you say your name was again?”

“Steve Rogers, ma’am.”

Peggy laughed, 

“Oh my lord!”

Steve smiled nervously,

“Huh?”

“I may have befriended (y/n) (y/l/n) at Bletchley. Oh darling it is  _so_  wonderful to meet you.” A wicked grin lit up her face.

Steve smiled, but felt a lump forming in his throat.  _(y/n)_. They had been in touch but hearing her name made it harder to bear. He just hoped she was ok.

**ENGLAND- JUNE 1943**

**  
**(y/n) entered Mr. Edward’s office.

It was a small room, filled with maps and war papers, and many many sheets of codes. 

The man sat at his desk and smiled,

“Miss (y/l/n), how long have you been with us now? Almost 3 years?”

She nodded.

“Ah, well you were selected for this job for your caliber and proficiency in your work, and that has indeed payed off.” He reached into his desk and withdrew a letter.

“Not long ago I presented the same letter to your friend Miss Carter, who has recommended you now for the same job.”

(y/n)’s heart pounded as she lifted the envelope, she knew instantly what it was, recalling when Peggy showed her her’s.  _Special operations_  she had said,  _field agents to fight in the war._

Mr. Edwards went on, 

“ _Agent_  Carter was very gracious in her remarks of your skills, I do hope you accept this offer Miss (y/l/n).”

(y/n) nodded, 

“Thank you sir, I will let you know my decision right away.”

  
She hurried out of the office.

  
~~  
 _A sleek black car slunk down the quiet street, taking care not to leave any trace of its existence. Two shadowed men exited the vehicle, making their way to the row of buildings. They entered without a sound, gliding up the stairs and into the small room. The moonlight cast a glow on the empty room, one of the men crept over to the desk and picked up an envelope marked S.O.E._

_“Ja, das ist Ihr zimmer.” He removed the letter, “(y/n) (y/l/n),” He hummed, scanning the recommendation. “Sie ist diejenige.”_

_The sound of the door opening at the foot of the stairs sent the two men into the shadows. The girl opened the bedroom door, refraining from turning on the light due to the blackout. She placed her coat on the bed and picked up something from the nightstand. They sprang from the darkness._

_Cold hands wrapped around her, pulling her out into the night._

_The photo depicting 3 happy kids fluttered to the ground,_

_their smiles haunting the moonlight as the night covered all traces of what had just occurred._

_  
_ **BROOKLYN, USA- AUGUST 1940**

“I love you (y/n).” Steve cried into her shoulder. Clinging tightly to her as they said their goodbyes. She clung back, squeezing her eyes shut as tears leaked out. Bucky wrapped both of them in his arms. “I love you too Stevie, I love you too.” She whispered into his ear. But he would never know how much she truly did. She stepped back from them, wiping her eyes,   
  


“It’s ok guys” She took a deep breath, “I’m going to be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> “Ja, das ist Ihr zimmer” = “yes, this is her room.”
> 
> “Sie ist dejenige” = “She is the one.”


	5. A whole new world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much has changed, so much to see

 

**{Monday}**

 

“Where are we?” 

(y/n) whispered into Steve’s chest. 

“Upstate New York, a town called Montague.” He carried (y/n) back to the cabin in his arms. “Although there’s so few people it’s not really a town. But, that makes it easier to lay low.”

_That explains the farmland._

She pretended not to hear the ‘lay low’ part: she almost rolled her eyes thinking about it.  _What has he done now, same old Stevie, hasn’t changed a bit._

 

**{Tuesday}**

**  
**_2017._  The words rang blankly in her head. She didn’t know how to feel.  _Didn’t she expect this to happen every time she was frozen? Was she sad about the years that she lost?_ It still seemed like a haze.

 _It couldn’t be that far in the future._  

Yet all around her there lay evidence that it indeed was true.

Objects that in her mind had a different appearance, now were reformed into sleeker, smaller versions. Or completely new altogether.  She watched in awe as Steve tried to show her the new technology of the time. So many new words that made little to no sense: 

“This is an iphone…um… I still don’t know why its called that.” Steve stuttered. 

“Why is there an apple–?” 

“Oh, right. Apple is the company. Yeah, I was confused by that too.”

“He sure was!” A voice called from the other room.

(y/n) liked Sam. Although she practically just met him, she enjoyed his ability to lighten up even a dire situation. He had been extremely welcoming and helpful, and it warmed her heart that Steve had someone like him close by.

Sam entered the living room, “I’m heading out, gotta check on Nat and the others.” 

Steve gave him a nod, “Stay safe, Sam.”

“You too.”

(y/n) gave him a smile and a faint wave, and he left the building.

They turned back to their lesson.  
With each new object she got more and more dizzy. He started showing her his phone. What appeared to her as a small glass disk apparently had endless capabilities; beyond her wildest dreams. Her favorite feature so far was Facetime. Despite the fact that they were in the same house, (y/n) loved that she could bring Steve wherever she went. 

And television, god, what an improvement. 

  
They had never owned a TV in Brooklyn, but occasionally the 3 of them would venture out to an electronics store and watch from the window. 

It was, of course, a lot to handle. But with Steve by her side it didn’t like feel anything.

 

**{** **Wednesday}**

**  
**“Oh my god!” (y/n) gasped, “How do they make the monsters?!”

They had been watching various movies for hours, selecting them from the stories lodged in (y/n)’s head. They had watched multiple disney movies, which (y/n) had interrupted whenever there was an inaccuracy. But now they were watching the Hobbit; the last book (y/n) read before…well. 

She was mesmerized, and very confused.

“Well it’s something called CGI, um, I’m starting to think I should’ve done more explaining-”   
(y/n) cut him off. 

“You’ve done everything perfectly.” And she meant it with all her heart.

Just being close to him made her feel calm. Whenever he was close the air seemed easier to breath, and she realized that she was no longer scared. She no longer had that sinking, itching, gnawing fear. 

She was free.

Steve felt the same.

For so many years he had hole in his chest. Started by the death of his mom, then gashed by (y/n)’s, then ripped by Bucky’s. And Peggy’s, and the people he couldn’t save… the list ran long and deep. Carved into his mind like a never ending ache. But now… bits and pieces of that hole was being healed.

Now that she was here he started to remember just how much he loved her. Everything about her. All these feelings that had been subconsciously hidden, tucked away as a survival mechanism to keep on going. The weight of the feelings would have slowed him down. She was, after all, half of his heart. 

_But she’s here._

He had to keep reminding himself.   
Her head lay on his chest, and her body curled in his arms. He felt her breathe in and out, a silent melody that he could never grow tired of.  _Proof that she’s here, that she’s alive._  He squeezed her tighter; he had this overwhelming desire to hold her, to feel her close to him. 

After all this time it was the only thing he needed.

However, he did have questions. And needing to start somewhere, he selected one from the top.

“(y/n)?” He asked, his voice soft and questioning. “Why weren’t you surprised by my…” he struggled to find the right words, “…well, significantly increased size?”

(y/n)’s breathing changed, marking her increasing heart rate. She bit her lip,

“Because…um….I knew…” 

 She closed her eyes,

 

“…Because they used the same serum on me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this chapter skjasjkdfjhdlsfjhdsfj sorry


	6. Heal

_ “Why weren’t you surprised by my…” he struggled to find the right words, “...well, significantly increased size?” _

_ (y/n)’s breathing changed, marking her increasing heart rate. She bit her lip, _

_ “Because...um... I knew…” She closed her eyes, _

_ “...Because they used the same serum on me.” _

_ _______ _

Once again Steve’s world shattered. 

As (y/n) told her story he hated himself more and more. _ How dare he freeze himself. How dare he let himself die.  _

_ How dare he give up so fast.  _

_ He gave up on her.  _

He had been the first person to know of her disappearance. The person who was shipped a small box of her belongings; her sweater, her hairbrush, a small vial of her perfume and makeup. He had been the first one to mourn her. To feel her loss. He was one of the only ones.

He never got around to telling Bucky, he hated himself for it, but he couldn’t be responsible for imparting that sorrow to him. Steve told himself that Bucky knew: that perhaps he had found the box or read the letter… but deep down he knew he never found out.  

**1943**

Steve glanced numbly at the box in his lap. Peggy sat across from him with tired, damp eyes. Neither one spoke.

The silence was deafening.

He choked back a sob as he looked through the items. Pieces of (y/n) that reminded him of the way she smiled, the way she laughed. With each piece the realization crushed him: she was gone. He began to shove the items back in; his way of metaphorically rejecting the truth. Something fell from the sweater.

_ Three happy kids, not a care in the world. _

**2017**

The same photograph he drew out now. Holding it between the two of them.

It was tattered and faded, blotched with tears and creased, but the meaning with still the same. It was the last memento of their innocence, a last fragment of something they lost over 7 decades ago. (y/n) couldn’t believe he still had it.

“You know, that’s how they held me.” (y/n) whispered quietly, eyes trained on the photograph.

“What?”

She clenched her jaw, “Bucky. After they had him I couldn’t leave. I could never leave him alone in that place.” She squeezed her eyes shut to repress the fear growing in her throat. “But I guess they took that choice away from me when I was frozen.”

Steve’s hands shook, letting go of the picture. 

So much rage flowed through him, he had never felt it this bad. Every vein pulsed with fire, his heart pounding and stoking the flames. He could see the same fire in (y/n)’s eyes, but her body showed no sign of it: it was silent, corroding. 

“Y-you were with him? They... had y-you both?” His teeth worked desperately against the strain of his cemented jaw. His eyes widened as it dawned on him, “While I did nothing… for 70 years.” 

“No!  _ Steve _ -”

He got up, blood pounding in his ears, guilt quickly permeating the anger.  _ This is all my fault. How could they ever forgive me?  _ He felt like he was suffocating, his vision blurred,  _ out out out.  _

He ran to the door.

 

And collapsed.

 

(y/n) ran to him. 

She held him.

Held him as his body shuddered and wailed. 

She held him like she had when his mom died.

And she kissed his head like she had when they said goodbye. 

There was nothing she could say, she knew that. All she could do was hold him close and whisper the one truth in the world.

“I love you Stevie, I always have, and I always will.” She swayed slowly back and forth.

“How? After all that’s happened, how can you love me?”

She couldn’t explain it, not to him or to anyone. He looked up at her, his eyes red, his face swollen. She looked at the outline of his lips and the arch of his nose. This is the face she had imagined every time she had closed her eyes. Everytime she needed an escape. But even then his face had always been just out of reach.

But now…

 

She ran her fingers over his cheeks, tracing his cheekbone down to his lips. His face softened, leaning into every touch. So much time had been stolen from them, so much to make up for…

She leaned down and kissed him.

 

And again.

 

He grabbed the back of her neck and held her there. She felt so much at that moment. All the years that she waited for this, through hell and back, she was here. He held her tight, and this time he wouldn’t let go. 

 

\--

A ring called out in the dark.

“Hello?”

  
“It’s me,” Bucky breathed. “It’s really me...”

 

 

_ “...I’m coming home.” _

 


	7. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ edamame my consultant- when you read this don't judge me ajksdhgd

_ 'She was, after all, half of his heart.' _

Bucky was the other half.

________

 

(y/n) walked through the forest.

It was hot and humid, but the shade cast by the trees made it manageable. The scent of pine and oak filled her nose, clearing her racing thoughts. Her brain buzzed with all that had happened these past few weeks. 

And the newest addition: Bucky was coming back.

-

 

Steve’s hand danced across the sketchbook,  _ He should be here any minute.  _

Just thinking about it made him giddy. He had started drawing to calm himself down, but the pictures of Bucky and (y/n) that appeared on the page made him even more excited. No, excited wasn’t the right word, but there wasn’t a word for how he felt.

After a lifetime they were all going to be together again.

_ Together.  _ He smiled at that. 

 

A metallic whoosh drew his attention to the window, where a plane of sorts materialized on the grass. A single figure walked to the ground, waving goodbye to the pilot. The machine disappeared once more and left Bucky standing before the cabin.

 

_ Knock knock knock. _

\--

 

There was only the crunching of her feet, and the katydids in the trees.

All about her there was serenity, she only wished the same onto her life. 

The sunlight grew brighter as she neared the edge of the forest, taking one last breath of cool air before stepping out into the open. The field shone dull in the sun as (y/n) jogged back to the small cabin; her enhanced speed delivering her right to the steps of the house. She sighed as she pushed open the door.

\--

 

Bucky had only been in the cabin 10 seconds before Steve barreled towards him for a hug. Not a quick hug, one done out of obligation or habit, but a true hug. 

It lasted a lifetime. And Steve loved every minute of it.

“I missed you so much.”

“So did I.” Bucky breathed, still wrapped in Steve’s embrace.

“So you’re really mine again?”

He smiled, “Yeah, I am. I’m all yours Stevie.”

 

The door creaked open. 

 

She stood still.

 

All those years of fearing he wouldn’t make it, all the times she heard him scream and thought it was the last time. It all seemed to drain into this moment. He was still here for  _ this. _

She suddenly understood why all three of them were still alive. Why, after all the sadness and pain, they were still here.

It was for each other. 

Seeing Steve in Bucky’s arms like he had been in her’s, she knew why they had persevered through all those horrors, just to be near Steve again. And all that Steve had given up just to save Bucky and (y/n), just to have his family back.

Because they were family: since that day in the alley over half a century ago; since they shared their first kisses to each other; since those nights where all they had was each other; even the war and all the many years apart. 

 

Bucky turned and she threw herself into his arms. She cried and pressed her lips against his forehead. And in that moment everything was perfect.

But then that moment ended. 

She gasped as the flashes of memory coursed through her veins. An icy shock consumed her. As she grasped Bucky tighter new images rushed into her head: a scream, chains, the overwhelming darkness. But then one that didn’t fit.  

 

_**1949** _

A figure crept through the window, hidden by darkness.

She surveyed the room.

A flash of light from a passing car, momentarily lit up the room. A dark second figure was revealed. With adrenaline flipping the switch inside her, she jumped into action and swept her leg behind his knees, bringing him down. Then slamming him against the wall she tightened her grip around his throat. 

A metal arm reached up and grabbed her wrist, threatening to snap it.

She glared down at him, “Warum bist du hier?”

“Ich beendete die Mission.”

“But why are you  _ here _ ?”

“I don’t know.”

She released her grip on his throat, stepping back. There was something here, something familiar. When she saw his face she could see a conflict raging in his mind, just like she felt inside her’s. But there was something about  _ him. _ She stepped forward, brushing the hair from his eyes. Her palm brushed his cheek. 

Suddenly, as if she awoke from a dream, she saw the scene in a whole new light. She could breathe again, like iron weight was lifted from her body. 

“Do you remember me?” She whispered.

Pain was laced in his breath,

 

“I want to.”

 

She drew his forehead close and kissed it.

He kissed her back, this time on the lips.

“Bucky.” She gasped, her face glistening with tears.

“(y/n).”

(y/n) kissed him again.

The dark room that they inhabited was born anew. As if the world had changed entirely. What was once a cold, foreboding room was now soft and warm. Two bodies, unlike the ones they left in their wake, were very much alive. They grasped each other as if they were life itself. The melody they spun was not of pain, but of love. Tangled together and living while they could.

 

They were simply two lost souls hoping to find themselves in the other.

 

Serenity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATIONS:  
> Warum bist du hier- why are you here  
> Ich beendete die Mission- i finished the mission
> 
>  
> 
> i'm fully aware of the accidental line from Tangled in this piece btw


	8. Growth

 

**_1937_ **

 

“How much loooooonger?”

“Like 3 minutes.”

Steve groaned.  _ Not more walking. _

The three of them trudged up the grassy hill. According to (y/n), at the top you felt like you were flying. However Steve felt quite the opposite as his legs wobbled from the climb. 

They had decided to take a trip to the countryside. The doctor said it would do Steve’s lungs good, and (y/n) wanted to see her relatives again. 

“We’re here!”

Steve let out a sigh of relief and fell to his knees. Bucky soaked in the view,

“Holy shit!” He yelled. “I can see for miles!”

And it was true, the hill was the highest point for miles, and it showed. Farmland quilted the ground into patches of many colors, holding in them food for thousands. Farther out a tree line marked the start of the forest, and faded mountains framed it all. It was breathtaking.

Bucky turned in awe to look at (y/n), who was lying on the ground by Steve.

They looked so peaceful.

Suddenly an idea pricked at Bucky’s mind,

“Stevie! Give me that acorn!”

Steve opened one eye, 

“ _ My  _ acorn?”

About a month before, Steve had found an acorn on the sidewalk. It struck him as amazing that such a little thing had made it so far. So he put it in his pocket as a sort of good luck charm: that one day, he too, would make it to far away lands.

“Why?” He eyed Bucky suspiciously.

“Hear me out, how about we plant it. Then when we’re all old and gray we can sit under it and remember this.”

Steve pondered the idea. He desperately wanted to keep it, but deep down he knew it wouldn’t  _ really _ bring him good luck. And besides, it belonged in the ground.

(y/n) got up and went to the middle of the hill. She crouched and dug a small hole in the soft earth, putting the dirt into a soft pile beside it. 

Steve crawled over and produced the acorn from his pocket, whispering a silent goodbye to it as he placed it in the dirt.

Bucky filled the hole.

 

They stood there, looking down.

“You’d better grow little seed,” (y/n) said. “Or else I’m going to be a very disappointed old lady.”

The two boys laughed, they all linked arms and walked back down the hill.

 

**_2017_ **

 

They stood there, looking up.

 

“Are you disappointed?” 

(y/n) wiped tears from her eyes, looking at them both,

“No...” She cried. “...very much the opposite.”

Their arms were linked as they looked at the large tree before them. 80 years. It was still there.

 

And so were they.

 

Bucky led them over to its base and sat down. Bucky, then Steve, then (y/n).

Sitting there, the surveyed the world. The landscape had changed drastically, what was once acres and acres of fields was a large forest. On a crisp day like this, the mountains were still visible, although now pockmarked with cell towers and plane signals. Fall was showing everywhere as the orange leaves of the oak tree fluttered down to them. And acorns made a faint pattering sound as the fell.

“Ow!” 

They looked at Steve, who held up an acorn and rubbed his head.

He looked at it, so small in his hand.

He had been on his adventure after all. And even though it wasn’t how he planned, they had all found each other in the end.

 

And that’s all that mattered.

 

He put the acorn in the cold grass beside him. He was right where he wanted to be. 

Both halves of his heart were back beside him. Joy, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long long time, was all around him. He felt like he was overflowing. He laced his fingers with theirs and kissed both of them.

Bucky pulled a knife from his pocket.

“Bucky wha-?”

He plunged it into the tree. (y/n) and Steve’s confusion began to fade as they watched. Bucky chipped away the bark in a heart formation, then carved their initials in its center. Satisfied, he pocketed the knife again.

“That’s so cheesy…” (y/n) grinned.

“...and illegal?” Steve chuckled.

Bucky looked at Steve in shock, 

“You have never done a legal thing in your life!” He laughed, “And besides, we planted this bitch, it's ours.” 

Looking at the mark (y/n) beamed, happiness spilling from her eyes in golden tears. 

She felt hope. Hope that she could continue her life. Of course she could never forget her past, but she could move forward. She had her whole life in front of her. A life they could live together.

Just like she’d planned.

Because all those years ago, when Bucky had the idea to plant the tree, she made a vow. A vow to every power in the universe that they would stay together. That they would be together until they were old and gray.

And since that day had not yet come, they had a long while ahead of them.

_ To have and to hold, from this day forward,  _

_ for better or for worse,  _

_ for richer or for poorer,  _

_ in sickness and in health, _

 

_ Till death do us part. _

 

**_1951_ **

 

_ A handful of men clamored about the large room. A dignified looking man entered, followed by a string of harsh salutes. Behind him trailed the metal-armed bodyguard. She waited silently for her placement. Upon seeing the trailing soldier, she tensed and tried to move towards him. But the man laughed and drew his weapon, pointing it at the soldier. As she was lead to the machine she pleaded for them not to hurt him. The soldier watched as the machine closed around her. The last he saw of her, her eyes pierced his; goodbye. Then ice blurred the glass. “Sie wird noch einmal nützlich sein.” The doctor whispered. The room emptied. _

_ Over years the place slowly became uninhabited. Dust fell like snow and the light faded from view. The only noise was the whirr of the machine.  _

_ Until one day, a metallic groan signaled an arrival, and voices filled the air once more. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Sie wird noch einmal nützlich sein= she will be useful once more.
> 
>  
> 
> sorry about the slight religious thing i just thought it would be cute. also dont carve trees :(


	9. Epilogue: Complete

 

The November wind howled outside the cabin. Drifts of snow formed on the window sills and battered the window panes. But the inside was different.

Warmth emanated from the fireplace, along with a lively crackling sound as the flames danced upon the wood. Rich smells of food wafted in the air. And music hung all around. (y/n) hummed as she set the table, the music bringing her back to a different time. 

Steve stood over a pot of hot chocolate in the kitchen, slowly stirring. He mumbled the words to the songs under his breath, a surprising library of lyrics spilling from his tongue.

And Bucky added another log to the fire, relishing the heat that spread over his fingers. He sunk into the couch and closed his eyes, the lack of sight helping him preserve this memory with his other senses; the smells, the sounds, the warmth.

This was comfort.

Steve brought out three stacked plates of lasagna, a food that held a special significance from another time. After placing them down, he returned to the kitchen for the mugs of steaming hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate and lasagna, certainly not the most conventional of meals, but delicious all the same. 

The steam from the hot chocolate was exposed in the air above the flame of the candles. Vivid reds and oranges flecked the scene, adding to the haven-like ambiance.

They all sat around the table, sharing stories and memories alike. Scenes from long ago, that some remembered, and some had forgotten. Laughter, laughter mixed in with the music. Well, it was a music itself.

Across the room upon the mantlepiece sat a small framed picture that seemed to survey the room. The three little faces seemed to smile brighter now, perhaps it was because they knew everything would turn out ok.

_ In the end everything turned out ok. _

~

(y/n) slid into the kitchen.

“Where’s your phone??” 

Steve turned off the faucet and dried his hands. 

“It’s on the table, why?”

She grinned and ran back out into the living room.

Shaking his head and smiling, Steve walked out and joined Bucky on the couch. The fire was flitting merrily before them as he rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky turned and kissed the top of Steve’s head, pulling him closer. He whispered softly, 

“I’m so happy.”

Steve smiled brighter than any candle or fire could shine.

 

Suddenly the room was filled with a new melody and (y/n) waltzed in. Spinning in front of the two boys she held out her hands and pulled them up.

Placing an arm on both of their shoulders, they stood in a small huddled circle. Leaning on one another, as they had from the very beginning. (y/n) leaned up and kissed them both, then rested her head on Steve’s shoulder. 

Their feet slowly traced a pattern in the floor as they danced. Bucky leaned his forehead on Steve’s and closed his eyes. 

The snow howled outside in the dark, but inside it was golden. 

And as they swayed together, above them the music softly crooned:

 

_ Kiss me once, then kiss me twice _

_ Then kiss me once again _

_ It's been a long, long time _

_ Haven't felt like this, my dear _

_ Since I can't remember when _

_ It's been a long, long time. _

 

_ You'll never know how many dreams _

_ I dreamed about you _

_ Or just how empty they all seemed without you _

_ So kiss me once then kiss me twice _

_ Then kiss me once again _

_ It's been a long, long time _

_ Long, long time _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick thing--> idk where sam went but in my mind he's happy in his house somewhere. ;)
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has left feedback on this work. I'm so grateful to everyone. I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Lots of love,  
> Amloth <3
> 
> You can listen to the song here if you want!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evZZiRbP_K8


End file.
